


The Hermit

by Jessa



Series: Seraph and Daemon [2]
Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Angst, Demon!Kylo, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Explicit Sexual Content, M/M, Mythology References, Pining, Wings, angel!Finn, supernatural themes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-30
Updated: 2020-05-06
Packaged: 2021-03-02 03:07:11
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,449
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23918017
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jessa/pseuds/Jessa
Summary: The demon Kylo and the angel Finn have quarreled. Kylo has retreated to a park he sometimes visits. He’s just pining for hisSeraph.The Hermit prompt for this came from a Shadowhunters Tarot Challenge on Tumblr. From what I read about the card's meaning, this card is about solitude. Upright it's good kind of solitude. Reversed it's just sadness and loneliness and kind of going nowhere with that. So Kylo and Finn are playing around with those kinds of self-isolation things in this story.I hope you enjoy it and thanks for reading. There’s some art for this at the end of the third chapter.
Relationships: Finn/Kylo Ren
Series: Seraph and Daemon [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1723999
Comments: 4
Kudos: 14





	1. This Kind of Sadness

**Author's Note:**

> Chapters 1 and 2 are M-rated. Chapter 3 is E-rated (explicit sexual content).
> 
> The Furies are creatures from Greek mythology who exact divine retribution from those guilty of wrong-doing. Crimes which are especially likely to incur their wrath are those involving one's family but also, more relevant to this story, anything related to oaths.

The demon Kylo wouldn’t do this on an ordinary night; stand here in bare feet and no shirt, in the middle of a Japanese garden, alone, and watch uninterrupted for minutes on end the fat golden koi, swimming in the moonlight through the bronzed water of the pond. Beneath the cedar-wood of this footbridge. 

Kylo’s toes are cold but if someone were to come by now and ask him if they were that, he would deny it because he really can’t feel it. He is still too upset to feel anything as earthly as empirical temperature changes. And that is because the thing he feels now - this kind of sadness - well it just transcends mortal concepts like biology and physics and weather. 

This kind of sadness causes so much panic inside his belly that it’s almost got to boiling point in there. There’s so much agony and every muscle aches from the broiling of it. Every cell inside him is screaming for a different outcome. Is yearning for the _back_ button so much. 

But nothing to cancel this exists here. All that exists is this hot fire feeling inside him, burning so much of himself it runs out of fuel and then it just dies. And that death is unceremonious. No one can be there to witness that. But the pain doesn’t stop with that little death no one’s seen.

Kylo is the only one who can feel it snuff out. Is that what it would be like if it could be imaged? Like something as happy to go as a candle submitting to a _douter_? Or would it look more akin to the pathetic state he’s in now? So briefly beautiful and mighty. Wasn’t he?

Who can find the ghost? Who knows a thing was ever there? Hurting him so much? He doesn’t think that _Seraph_ knows. How can that angel ever understand how much damage he’s done to salty _Daemon_ ? Who has lived through centuries’ worth of pain already? How can sweet _Seraph_ understand how his actions and his piss-poorly timed lack of words - Kylo would sure like to know since when he was mute - have reduced him again to this? A damaged and barefooted creature in an empty park, afraid of how much he feels. With no one around to console him but his own reflection in a dirty human-made cesspool.

But at the same time, how could his _Seraph_ possibly _not_ understand him? How could the angel who stole his heart away, as loquaciously as the fiendish Finn did - the liar - not understand that he’s not done that? Finn was supposed to be different. Finn was supposed to be perfect. A perfect angel. The demon Rey had told him so and Kylo had believed her. And he had been for a brief time; Finn had understood Kylo. So if that’s changed then this event leaves him with no one. No one left to properly care for a salty demon no one accepts as is.

The charcoal inside Kylo doesn’t smolder now it’s snuffed. It’s no longer hot. If it were pieces that could be picked up they wouldn't leave burns on his hands. They may leave lines on his face, could it age. He could etch them there no doubt. But the only thing his cindered insides inflict him with is another scar on his heart, from the gash the lover he trusted not to do such a thing as to leave him in pain has done.

How does a demon fix a broken heart? That’s why Kylo has come to the park. Ordinarily, he’s just alone in his lair in the nighttime. Or very recently Finn has been there too. In the very distant past he’s used this place to answer this question; just once before has he been here to leave it slipped between the pond’s slimy stones. The colored flecks in the scales of the koi dazzle his eyes against the green of giant lily pads, suspended on the surface, as with his power he leaves the _Ask_ again there. And through his fug, wonders once more how a creature only meant for lust recovers when he slips into the trap of loving. 

Tears still prickle at the corners of the demon's eyes. He scrunches his eyes and winces as the image of a hurt _Seraph_ stabs at his vision yet again. He kneels down to the stream and peeks his face out beyond the slats of the wood of the small bridge. The moon is overhead and the shadow he casts across the water darkens it for a moment. The fish he’s been watching scatter quickly, back to find the glints of cold light and the nocturnal insects.

The demon Kylo’s image is scattered by the ripples on the pond as the startled fish dash away. He reaches out wan fingers and with his power calls to the surface of the water an image of the angel Finn, because his heart longs to see him in happier times, and his aching fingers long to remember how to stroke the smooth skin of his face. How to pull his body close and hold him. 

But the image won’t be called. All the demon finds on the surface of the pond is his own face. Pale, his dark eyes ringed. Puffy and red around the edges from crying. And wide and afraid. From the might of these feelings that still can’t be quenched, even though he’s trying so hard to quell them, and bury them beneath the pebbles under the bridge. Just like his question.

Still knelt on its cedar slats, Kylo drops his head to his lap and if new tears could come they would fall again. But he’s cried so much already that his eyes are as dry as the leather of his wings. Which, in the demon’s sorrowful state, have snuck out and wrapped themselves around his bare torso in an act of self-protection and self-comfort.


	2. Reversal

The angel Finn and his _beau apparent_ had only fought for a moment. Quick sharp jabs at each other. 

“I love you.” Kylo had begun it. Breathing it over the angel’s skin. Burning it into his eyes with a blazing gaze. He had worked it over Finn’s body. Rubbed it into his muscles like a deep massage that bore all the way until it found the angel’s heart. And Finn knew that Kylo had meant those words. With every breath he’d ever taken. During every age he’d ever lived through. Finn knew Kylo had meant those words more than any he’d said to Finn before. “So tell me you love me too, Seraph.”

“No, Daemon.”

“What? Why not?”

Finn had not replied.

“Tell me,” Kylo had insisted, growing urgent. “Tell me why not.”

But the angel had said nothing further and then all three _Furies_ must have come for Kylo at once; how else could his _Daemon_ grow so upset so quickly?

Finn had seen them before this night. Watching out for the pair to fight. Just like the _mare_ who always lurked in Kylo’s rafters, watching out for Finn to sleep; the winged crones crouched in corners waiting to imbue vengeance, while the pair of them rested when they needed to. After their passions had run their courses. But in his heart, the angel knew that to blame only _Furies_ for this was incorrect. Falling in love was frightening. Finn knew that too. As much as he enjoyed acts of loving - as much as he enjoyed acts of loving Kylo - physical expressions of lust in moments were much easier to cope with, and wrangle and tame, than a heart which might beat in love forever.

Finn knows he really shouldn’t feel this way. Angels should be perfect in the correct sense. Not in the sense that Finn is; the flawed sense that Kylo has told him over and over again is why he, _Seraph_ , is his perfect angel; as nuanced as he. And yet Kylo seems to need explanations. But there are parts of Finn’s heart that are locked away. They need to be. Those parts are hurting and grieving for the love he's lost. 

A tide of fear begins to rise from the depths of his belly, as a wave of grief grows inside him, and he sways on his bare feet just like he'd done back in the demon's lair, when Finn had self-silenced and Kylo had reacted. But short of reversing the card and collapsing, as the demon has done, in the angel's own moment of solitude his eyes find his wounded lover again. Finn watches Kylo, crouched down barefoot, semi-naked and wrapped in the dark leather of his hellion wings. He knows the depths of the demon’s grief, sensing this is not the first time he’s hurt like this either.

“Many a heart have I broken by walking away, Daemon.” So silently has Finn crossed to the bridge, and to Kylo, that the owls in the oaks of the park only startle once the angel starts speaking. Softly to the demon, still crouched and wrapped up in his leathers by the pond on the walkway. He moves just enough for Finn to see one very tired-looking eye looking back. “Many a soul - damaged or whole - have I left to burn up in the flames of their own lonely desire. Once I decided to leave them. And until nothing remained of them. I am not a perfect angel, you know this. But here I am. You were lonely and I claimed you as mine. So I will not walk away from you tonight. I need to ask you something though. And I need you to answer. Or I will leave for good and not come back.”

Very slowly, one and then the other of the demon Kylo’s wings creak at the protruding bony thumb. And then each wing unfolds as the tall dark-haired hellion stands. His leathers still held protectively around his bare upper body. “What makes you think I care what you need?” the demon asks, with nothing of his hurt revealed by his voice but with all of it, and his yearnings for the angel, laid bare in his tokay-colored eyes.

“The fact that you have answered,” Finn says. “I will go if you want me to. If you really want it, _hermit_ , I would understand why you might. I apologize for what we have been through this evening. I know I could have been more careful with you. I wasn’t good.”

“Neither of us was good,” Kylo whispers.

“It was not my intention to hurt you as much as I seem to have done, Daemon. But you must understand that you and I are-”

“-foils,” Kylo whispers again. “I know. I do understand. But you, Seraph, who has pleasured me so - and let me pleasure you in return - has also split my heart into pieces.”

“I have my reasons.”

“I need to know them.”

“I appreciate that, Daemon.”

“You do no such thing. If you appreciated that you would tell me your reasons. Why can’t you just say you love me? Is it because you don’t?”

Another terrible wave of panic begins inside the angel but, as before, short of succumbing - calling the _Furies_ , as would his _Daemon_ \- instead, it washes the angel with the Light of the truth. But that is just as wrathful. Finn can’t breathe. The truth is crippling. What Kylo has really asked him to do is to raise a past he can’t.

“Why do you need to know that I do?” the angel asks. “Why is it not enough for creatures like you just to love whatever they do? Why must you insist on having everything spelled? Don’t you know how much loving hurts? How much I hurt now? Caring that I upset you? Caring that you stormed away? Without a thought to tell me where you’d gone? Without a thought for me at all. Did you ever stop to think that my feelings could even be hurt? Hearing something like that? Pressuring me to say something like that back to you? Once it’s said it can’t be unsaid, _Daemon_. Once it’s said it is eternal. I may not be all that I should, but still, you do forget that I am seraphim. But I wouldn’t expect you - born of the Dark lust you are - to really appreciate that I suppose. To try to understand what is really meant by _eternal_. And what it means for me and not just you.”

“You are full of words and no sense.”

“How dare you.”

“What is your point? Because if you don’t have one I would ask you to leave me alone. That is why I've come here. I did not ask for you to follow.”

“I am trying to tell you my feelings too, you've told me yours,” Finn says. He drops his voice to a whisper. “How do you know that you love me?”

“How do I know?” Kylo answers. “When I close my eyes, yours are the last I see before sleeping. And the only face I see during dreams. When I breathe it is to relive all the scents of you. When I am alone and I hold myself I imagine only your hands are on me. You are why I tether myself to this mortal earth. If you left me I would accept it. But I know I would never be the same. And maybe that is how I know.”

“Maybe?” the angel frowns.

“Maybe what?” the demon answers, looking more tired than Finn thinks he’s ever seen him. And very genuinely confused now. The vitriol is leaving him and it’s leaving Finn too. Melting away into the wood beneath his bare toes. Slipping through that to the water of the pond and finding retreat beneath its slimy stones. Meeting Kylo's _Ask_ there. And his overspilt feelings. Finn wants so much then to reach for him. To hold him by his tear-streaked face. To brush the remnants of his sorrow away and to start to heal them both again.

“You said _maybe_ , Daemon,” Finn whispers. “ _Maybe_ that is how you know you love me? I thought you were sure you did.” 

The angel’s hands are still held by his sides. His own wings are still tucked away. His torso is as bare as Kylo’s and he can feel the cold in the park by the pond now, as they stand opposite. So close to each other Finn can see the gooseflesh puckering the demon’s skin and making his nipples stand on end. The angel’s own are cold too. 

And Kylo must sense it because the tips of his leathered wings are reaching for Finn. Whether it’s by choice or instinct to protect him, now he's begun to shiver, it’s hard to say. But no more words do the two of them speak to each other on the bridge there in the park. In silence, the wings of the demon meet the skin of the angel's hands, shielding him first from the cold just there, waiting. But nothing is left inside Finn that wishes to protest. It's all at the bottom of the pond. All that is left in his body now is yearning for more of the demon's touch. Which he has missed. 

Finn lets the demon Kylo envelop him first in his dark wings, as his own - of creamy white - emerge in a display made to accept the demon's advance. Allowing it. And inside the warming circle of feathers and leathers their moratorium makes, Finn and Kylo embrace each other. And then together they vanish from the park.


	3. As Seraph Can

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I needed to draw them so there is a little drawing at the end, after the read. Hope you enjoy it!

They had fought as they were shedding clothes. At the top of this night. And every layer they had lost had opened both of them up; their feelings and weaknesses were exposed along with their skin. Now as they embrace, returned to the demon Kylo’s lair by their desires to heal the wounds they’ve inflicted in different ways on each other, the hurt is still there. So every little touch made here is careful and tender. 

Gone is the heat of the argument they had though, which began this; their quarrel over feelings spoken aloud, and the ones withheld. And the warmth and comfort that started in the cool air back on the bridge by the pond in the park are still about them, growing warmer. 

Kylo’s wings still entwine with Finn’s as he lays the angel down on the bed. And already the feathers he finds in the morning after Finn leaves for the Light of the day are beginning to shed from the wings of the angel; Kylo is amorous even though his mind is on being careful.

Finn would normally tuck his wings away for such a moment of intimacy as this one, for practical reasons, but he’s just so caught up in Kylo’s mouth on his skin and his big hands running paths all over his body. As though searching for every hurt place, and wanting to repair it. And he’s also caught up by the sounds Kylo makes as he does that; murmurs and whispers and soft moans. None of which Finn can decipher as actual words that could be understood as such. But the angel does understand all of the things the demon says anyway. So he doesn’t tuck wings away. He just lies there in the soft bed they make, comfortable.

Finn watches the demon leave kisses down his chest, his hands caught up in Kylo’s long hair as he goes. They work together to remove the rest of Finn’s lower garments - tonight just a pair of soft sweatpants, with no drawers beneath - and Kylo removes his own lower clothes; black leathers with silver studs around all the faux pockets. And beneath them a black lacy thong, which piques Finn’s interest. 

“Do you remember how we first dressed for each other?” he comments from the bed, watching Kylo’s bare limbs emerge out of studded leather and lace, and arrange themselves between his knees. Kylo’s hands cup him around his calves and start to stroke him there. The demon’s blushed cock is hard now and looking like a very salty temptation to the very sweet Finn, and he thirsts for it; he doesn’t have a sweet tooth at all. And that color, of Kylo’s arousal, sets off the pink of the demon’s nipples and lips, all of which Finn wants to feel in various ways treat his craving body to their distinctive pleasures.

“Of course I remember,” Kylo murmurs, leaning forwards, his dark leather wings creaking softly and spreading wide and high behind him now as he kisses Finn’s mouth. And his lips linger there for a moment. Enjoying the way the angel's hands don't seem to want to settle anywhere on his body; there is so much of him that Finn seems to want, he can’t decide. But there are places Kylo is finding Finn likes to return his fingertips to. Like the velvety membranes of leather just between the fingers of his wings when he dips them within Finn’s reach. The way the angel rubs him there sends the most unexpected thrills right through Kylo’s body. “But we undress for each other now, Seraph.”

“You have always undressed so beautifully for me, Daemon,” Finn says, feeling Kylo’s hands around him, his mouth on his neck now, as he arches his back. And then Kylo’s hands move his hips, lift them, and fingers start to tease at him around the lower parts of his belly, the base of his cock, his inner thighs, behind his balls. Finn sighs. “You spoil me terribly.”

“You deserve it,” Kylo murmurs, kissing down his body again, his hands elevating Finn by the hips enough for his mouth and the bell of Finn’s cock to be able to meet in a first kiss for the evening.

“I think you are shaking, Daemon,” Finn whispers. “Are you nervous?”

“No,” Kylo answers, as Finn watches his wide dark eyes and they watch back while he licks along the length of the angel’s cock, his fingers still teasing behind his balls. “I would like so much to know you tonight. I’m not nervous about it at all.”

“If you mean to say that you would like to fuck me as I lay like this, Daemon, then I would like for that too.”

“How much?” the demon asks, still teasing, and Finn feels his body start to ache from it now, yearning to feel the demon inside him, and to know the whole pleasure he promises. Finn can see it in his length and girth. Finn wants to feel full.

“You tease me at your peril, Daemon,” he says, voice breathy. He knows he’s still very much afflicted by the demon’s advances, but like Kylo - and the nerves in him Finn still senses even though Kylo says he feels none - the angel won’t let on. “Do not forget who came back for you this evening.”

“I will not,” Kylo murmurs. “I have not.”

“Because I will not let you forget.”

“Please let me do this, though.”

“I will allow it, Daemon,” Finn whispers, moving his body again to relieve himself from the building aches as Kylo prepares his fingers with oil then returns to the angel. Who sighs as the aching is briefly relieved when Kylo slowly begins to finger him, Finn’s hips still raised in the demon’s other hand. And Finn’s own hand pulling almost lazily at himself. A moment of bliss until he starts to ache again.

“More of you, salty Daemon,” Finn murmurs.

“Sweet Seraph,” Kylo answers, withdrawing his fingers, lowering the angel’s hips and stretching him slowly, sliding himself just inside as Finn’s body yields gradually for him. His ankles over Kylo’s shoulders now. And both the angel and the demon hold their breath and moan together when Kylo enters Finn all the way.

The demon Kylo makes the smallest sounds while he fucks. And they are all delicious to Finn, as he pulls his cock with long strokes while Kylo continues the slow rhythm of long strokes he’s started inside the angel. His dark eyes never leave sight of Finn’s. Even when Finn can tell the demon is verging; teeth baring and head tipping back dangerously. Pausing his motion until the feeling abates. And then he resumes the fucking. 

Kylo’s lips look so pink and plush and Finn longs to kiss them as much as he begins to long for his own climax to start. But that build is so good, and he doesn’t want that feeling to end. A perilous position between coming and wanting to. 

“Daemon,” he murmurs. “Darling...”

Kylo feels the angel responding around him, and he quickens and shortens his strokes so now they are faster, and the pleasure is exponential, and the pressure at the base of his cock seems to grow that way too. Finn moans beneath him and Kylo wants to fuck him furiously now, and finish. And then take a different kind of hold of him, and bring his body close. Slip his tongue between his lips and kiss the angel deeper than Kylo ever has before.

The demon Kylo wants to say to Finn everything he’s ever thought about how perfectly imperfect the angel Finn is; how perfect _Seraph_ is for _Daemon_. He wants to say how he loves him, even though he knows it’s not what the angel wants to hear, or can. Kylo wants to say this is the first time he’s ever penetrated anyone. And that it feels magical to fuck like this. That he’s never known anything so carnal and celestial. But all Kylo does is grunt. And keep fucking. Deeper this time, sinking all the way to his hilt each time.

“ _Fuck_ ,” Finn moans, as the sound of Kylo’s balls slapping against his body tips Finn’s pleasure to the place he can’t pull back from. He moans again as he comes, torn between watching himself and arching away. Closing his eyes and giving in to his body’s untethered pleasure, with Kylo still inside him. Although his strokes feel different now, less regular. His face is covered in hair when Finn catches sight. Mouth slack, head tilted back. But his eyes are still locked, as they stare through tousled strands, with Finn's. Still watching him while he comes too.

“Here,” Finn murmurs, reaching up for Kylo, who collapses above him and they kiss in the messiest way they ever have, so far. Mouths only half on each other. Tongues doing things completely independently of brains. Finn reaches his arms around the back of the demon, whose leather wings are still out, erect. Although as he pants against Finn’s neck, they slowly fall to either side of their newly sated bodies, as rapt as the demon and the angel are now. Until they are as low as the lovers are high.

“How do you feel, Daemon?” Finn breathes, feeling so warm that the cold of the park seems a memory from centuries ago.

Kylo doesn’t know. Or perhaps it is more like he does know but just doesn't know how to start to express things so complex in words. Perhaps that’s why the popular expressions exist. _I love you_. His body might be somewhere else were it not for the scents of the angel, still in his nostrils. Or the tastes of him still in his mouth. Or the touches; Finn’s fingertips have found the velour of his wings again. And the sounds; of the angel’s heartbeat beneath his calming breaths as Kylo listens to that from where he is lain against Finn's chest. Every time he’s with the angel it’s as though he’s newer each time. And yet this is he, _Daemon_ , who he will always be. At once the same but each night different. Does the angel feel like this? 

“Tell me of you instead, Seraph,” Kylo whispers, growing sleepy in Finn's arms. “Tonight I have told you enough of my feelings. Too many, I fear. How do you feel now? Are you able to tell me?”

“Daemon,” Finn says, eyes prickling as the words come to his tongue so easily, and it shocks him. Just as it did at the top of this night. When they were hermits. But just as it didn’t do then, it feels somehow right to address that feeling now. In his own imperfect way. And not as an angel should but as _Seraph_ can. And the last word of his answer to the demon Kylo’s question is soundless because Finn’s throat is tight with the emotion he does feel. He’s felt it all night. “I feel loved.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 


End file.
